GLOBAL WARMING - A PREAMBLE

Friends, Countrymen, Illegal Aliens,

For quite some time I’ve wanted to write you about the global warming issue, which some are attempting to fan into a panic. You should understand, though, that with so many misconceptions, errors, and the disastrous election to attempt to help prevent, there is just so much one savant can do in a day.

Nevertheless, for the time being please accept some sound advice; don’t be thrown into a funk or stampeded into silliness by very UNscientific, downright fallacious nonsense promulgated by self-serving morons. We don’t need to be scattering trillions of dollars among the would-be energy companies in which Al Gorp, the champion electricity consumer, owns interests.

There is NO disputing that global average temperatures have been increasing, but, please, even if you dwell near an ocean, don’t be fleeing to high ground and ducking your mortgage, so that I’ll have to bail out your rump, too, because you fear the melting icecap will drown you. I don’t generally retail the Internet wisdom that overwhelms us all, but try this experiment; put some ice and some water in a glass and mark the water level. When the ice has melted, observe that it is exactly the same.

I’ll be back to you, and with some comprehensible, convincing science, on this.

Y.C.