MAKE YOUR VOTE COUNT

Following are a few demonstrable attributes from a person's past and present.

1. Junkie
2. Winner of an election where the opponents' names are mysteriously stricken from the ballot.
3. Rewards his constituents by rarely casting any sort of meaningful vote; is strongly assertive on only one issue - see 4. below
4. A persistently vicious foe of the unborn
5. The chum of an admitted domestic terrorist
6. Married to and mentored by outspoken America-haters
7. Seen honoring our flag only after criticism for demonstrating his honest sentiments towards it

If credentials like these are what you want in a President, DON'T WASTE YOUR VOTES ON B.O.! Write in Fidel Castro, Osama bin Laden, Hugo Chavez, or Robert Mugabe. If you've any reason to disfavor one of them, select a random lunatic wandering the streets of San Fran, D.C., or Boston, all hotbeds of the sentiments itemized above. (This can be justified by observing the way these constituencies' choices vote.)

Y.C.