INFORMS IS MISINFORMED

I discovered an organization called INFORMS which champions the application of mathematical techniques to problems in business, industry, and what have you. These it terms “analytics,” which, as far as the O.E.D. is concerned, is not a word, but you get the idea.



A member told me that on the organization’s website lately was a statement attributing B.O.’s disastrous re-election to “analytics.” As Charlie Chan ** used to say, “Correction, please,” which was his euphemism for “You are crazy as hell, Pal.”



No, the key to B.O.’s re-election was the same as for the 2008 catastrophe; viz., the deplorable electorate, featuring such notable constituents as



1. every black, mulatto, quadroon, octoroon, hexadecimalroon, and so forth

2. every slut embracing the opportunity to murder the unwanted fruits of her wanton lust

3. every government-brainwashed imbecile trained to applaud every stumbling step taken by every inept, unqualified, partial black element of the affirmative action throng

4. all those, particularly diehard Communists yearning for the destruction of a once-great country

5. militant, organized queers and atheists

6. members of unions realizing the dirty but favorable deals of which this BADministration is capable, and far from least significant,

7. the army of despicable panhandlers schooled to overlook the motivation and precepts that were once this country’s banners and instead to grovel for handouts like diseased pigs.



I’d say that covers most of the case, so, mathematicians, stick to things you can prove and realize what a sorry bunch put that minatory clown back in office.







** Not the Professor of Analytics at Stanford, Berkeley, U.S.C., U.C.L.A., Harvard, Northwestern, M.I.T., Georgia Tech, etc., but the Chinese film detective