ANOTHER KENNEDY ACQUITTAL - For a high-class family America's self-proclaimed royalty (John F even had the LBJ egotism to create his own armorial bearings) appear often in court but, like royalty, are never convicted of anything. They've also developed a courtroom tactic; they recruit a prestigious sample of themselves to sit there and impress or cow the jury. This worked well when Toad, the guardian of morals, occupied a couple of seats at the rape trial of William Kennedy Smith, son of our ambassador to Ireland. He, too, the jury was convinced, wasn't guilty as charged, despite the victim's testimony. Lately, the "prosecution" was convinced that Junkie Kerry Kennedy, another Kennedy political celebrity, only "got her pills confused," which accounted for being stoned again. Their ony concern was that, since stoned, why did she drive and hit a truck? With chronically-wronged woman, Ethel, and others of the bootlegger-founded group sitting in judgment, Ttey were convinced, however, that she didn't remember driving and consequently couldn't have been guilty of any sort of offense, now could she?. What a horseshit family; what a horseshit country.

SUPERBORE Ho hum, as so often happens, the football invention of television stank. Lately I was ranting to a friend about how a single, ridiculous, unimportant game has been marketed and sold to the gullible - a majority of our populace - as the equivalent of a National Holiday. "Why, it's simply an invention of telesion," I declared. "Just like our Putzident," she replied. We don't degrade the title "President" by bestowing it on B.O., the Neighborhood Organizer.