SOLVING THE IMMIGRATION PROBLEM - AND SEVERAL OTHERS

Here's all we need do.

1. Round up and deport every illegal alien. This is light punishment for criminal behavior.

2. Build an impregnable barrier along the length of the Mexican border. This includes armed guards every hundred yards or so and missile installations for shooting down illegal aircraft.

The benefits to our education, health care, and various welfare systems should be obvious, and think of the construction and guard jobs created, but you may ask how we'll get along without all that cheap, wetback labor. Years ago we did, but apparently we've lost even that quantity of common sense. That's also simple, though; we don't have to. Every able-bodied welfare recipient, every person drawing unemployment compensation, and everyone collecting workmen's compensation (the numbers here recently doubled when the BADministration made it easier to panhandle in that neighborhood) will do the work of picking lettuce, planting bushes in our yards, watering grass, busing restaurant tables, cooking short orders, baby-sitting the kiddies, etc. They will be paid the usual wetback rates and if this is less than their former government handouts, then governments can pay them the differences, so their income doesn't drop, and governments are handing out less.

Even the worker disabled because of severe carpal tunnel syndrome, a sore back, or anxiety attacks can do work; for example, applying the small stickers to oranges, pears, and the like. No work, no eat.

If this isn't all simple and effective, I don't know what is.